.Faded.

I don’t think I’ve been happy for a whole day in the last year and a half. Wish this would change. :/

:/

I don’t think people realise how stressful and challenging doing nothing actually is. Trying to fill the time between shifts has become pretty much impossible, I can’t get any more hours at work, I can’t find a new job, and I don’t wanna waste time doing pointless things that won’t make me money (apart from this rant, obvs). But I can’t find anything that can make me some steady cash, and I’m pretty much willing to do anything.

Low point in life No. 2345678765, and the next one probably isn’t far away. Not having the above, coupled with the fact I’ve slept on a friends sofa for the past month because I can’t live by my parents rules/ I can’t be there, added with almost every other aspect of my life falling through into nothingness, is just starting to be a bit too much for me to handle. I just know that I’ll never offload this onto anyone but myself. Partly because I don’t think people should have to sit and listen to my problems, but also because I know that finding someone is practically impossible right now.

Rant over. Let’s see if people actually care.

Is it a bad sign that I chose to stay in on my own instead of going out to a big house party?